I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir
it’s winter so have a coat selfie
TSA: are u carrying any firearms or explosives?
Me: *points to crotch* u mean this bomb pussy?
TSA: why do u always do this?
my motto is don’t dress to impress, dress to intimidate. dress to make ppl admire and envy you so much that it literally scares them
90% of my problems would be solved if i stopped over-thinking and being anxious about everything & calmed the fuck down